the late 1980’s and early 1990’s were a hella time for me. i left chicago in 1987 landing in orange county looking for respite but realizing i had landed in quicksand. my mother was immersed in a toxic relationship and it felt as i had overdosed on jimson weed. in spite of my hopes for that move, my nature pulled me further down into the drink and i managed a last ditch “beam me up scotty” which transported me to denver. after all every day could have been the last day of my acquaintance with everthing. i jetpacked to denver with the single intention of dying. but damnit! i got so much more than that.
the pace of life was so much slower here that it provided the “breathing into a paper bag” solution to my life which was in hyperventilation mode. i relocated to denver in 1988 with every intention of dying from aids. it turns out that expecting to die at the age of 29 is not as emotionally tumultuous as not dying and not having a plan.
with the passage of 25 years, i have had the grace to come up for air a couple of times and catch my breath on firma terra. letting go, acceptance, forgiveness, recovery, inspiration, education, sharing, and teaching have become integrated in my daily routine. i work at integrating gratitude for this on the real.
during those first five years i became acquainted with another bright soul on a bold trajectory in life by the name of sinead oconnor. that introduction was like meeting an aurora borealis for the first time. it was a spiritual experience. she will always be a spirit guide to me.
This is the last day of our acquaintance I will meet you later in somebody’s office I’ll talk but you won’t listen to me I know what your answer will be I know you don’t love me anymore You used to hold my hand when the plane took off Two years ago there just seemed so much more And I don’t know what happened to our love Today’s the day Our friendship has been stale And we will meet later to finalize the details Two years ago the seed was planted And since then you have taken me for granted But this is the last day of our acquaintance I will meet you later in somebody’s office I’ll talk but you won’t listen to me I know your answer already But this is the last day of our acquaintance I will meet you later in somebody’s office I’ll talk but you won’t listen to me I know your answer already I know your answer already I know your answer already