surfing the tsunamis

“Chaos is inherent in all compounded things. Strive on with diligence.” Simple: Everything is random. Keep working hard. What it means: Things will go wrong. When they do, do not stop and keep working hard. “Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule. Simple: If someone hates you, hating them back won’t make them stop. This is a rule forever. “He is able who thinks he is able.” Simple: People who think they can do things, can do those things. What it means: Think you can do something, and you can do it. “Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill.” Simple: Whatever you say, think about it. People will hear your words and be changed by them, in a bad or a good way. What it means: Think about what you say before you say it.

sometimes the pandora’s box that makes up some of my emotions pour out onto the world like the ocean following an offshore quake. i find myself in the throes of one of those sometimes. surfing emotions has become much easier as the years roll on. it’s still challenging, and i would doubt but that my raging feelings will best me someday. that fear is spawned from my history of overwhelmed suits and impulsive underthings. actually those were the garments i grew up wearing.

but now i am just surfing-not modeling. surfing is more adventurous and not so confining. there are times when a big wave comes along and there is nothing to do but paddle out on my board and hope i have practiced enough to make it out alive. that is my current position. a few years ago, i would have been unsure and tentative at best- unsure of my ability to ride the wave-if any. but these years of calm and serenity – without so much chaos- has bestowed me with experience and skill. forgiveness, empathy, and generosity are my escorts and i hope humility is my guide.

the last couple of weeks have been filled with darkness, moodiness, and drama. waves of this just keep pounding at the shores of my world. not just mine, but of those around me as well.  i am hoping i can stay on top of the wet and still be breathing after it passes.

#emotionality #liquidliquid #mentalhealth #stage2recovery